all good things...

 It's true... all good things must come to an end, and our sailor's wonderful, long leave did just that~

it ended.

So this heap of belongings ...

 

 was sorted and packed...

 and became this.

 And it was time for the last hug. 

This, my friends, does NOT become easier. 

That is myth and a not very nice one either. 

It diminishes the reality of these good-byes.

They are hard.

And, for me, saying "See you later" in place of "Good-bye" 

makes no difference. My heart knows the truth.

But I was brave! It is NOT easier, but I HAVE gotten 

better at it. :)

Father and son set off for sunny southern Cal~

San Diego, to be exact. It was a road trip to remember. 

Back at home... I was grateful for having had 

such a marvelous visit with my son.

But, I was a little sad. The house was too quiet.

The dog... well, he was sad, too. 

Soon sailor and dad arrived in San Diego. 

After a short visit, the hubs flew home 

and our sailor reported to his ship, the USS Carl Vinson.

After almost 2 years, our sailor was ON A BOAT!  ;) 

Okay, well, maybe it's not exactly like that...

but more like these photos that he took on his first underway. 

 So, this post is not really about endings. 

It is about a beginning, a new adventure for my sailor.

 And I have memories of all my kids together,

happy, healthy and having fun!

I am so very thankful.

All good things... yes, I really do have all good things.♥ 

 Blessed beyond measure.

~♥~

So the journey continues...

sisters of the heart

So, as of 4/8/12 my son has been in the Navy for 8 months. 

It is rather surreal. 

I am very proud of what he has accomplished.

Nuclear Field A School is done. He is a 3rd Class Petty Officer.

And now he is in the 2nd level of his schooling... Power School.

He seems well adjusted to military life.

He seems impossibly far away.

The nature of nuke school makes communication spotty. 

School days are long and study hours take up much of the limited

"free time" the sailors have. 

I have to be honest... there is a huge hole in my heart.

I don't mention it, except to my "sisters"~

my Nuke mom friends. 

We buoy one another~ laugh, cry, pray, share too much~

and build a bond that is so deep and strong. 

I love them.

That is the condolence prize...

the gift of true friends and I am so grateful for it.

Still, I miss my sailor every day... miss him thundering down

the stairs and drinking all the milk. 

I miss his loud truck and I miss

cooking for him and talking to him.

We won't see him until late September.

My Navy sisters will keep me afloat.

And I will do the same for them.

~♥~ 

so far away...

So, there's my sailor, looking good at A School.

He is doing well in nuke school~ staying very busy.

Some of my fellow Navy moms, who have kids

in A Schools in other fields, are very happy

with all the communication they now have

with their Sailors. As for me, I am

almost nostalgic for boot camp. 

I miss the letters.

For you see, nuke school moms are often

 at the end of the food chain. 

The reality is that nuke school is hard and demanding.

The material is challenging. The hours are long.

There is little free time.

So, I continue with my crash course

in Letting go 101.

So far, it is hard. We missed our Sailor

so much at Thanksgiving, but this is what 

he signed up for. I get that, but it does not

make me miss him less. 

But~~~There are positives...

#1~ He is doing well in school and seems

well-adjusted to military life.

#2~ Technology saves the day! Hooray for

Skype, FaceTime, Facebook and texting. 

I don't get a lot of communication, but I am

grateful for little every crumb!

#3~ CHRISTMAS!!~ Our Sailor will be home

for 10 days!!! YAY!!!!!! ♥♥♥

When I used to read accounts online about nuke students

not having much time to communicate with home,

I told myself ~"Not my son! He will find time."

Ha! The Navy is a great equalizer...

Yes, my son!... He is busy AND he is doing 

what he has to do. The apron strings are severed. 

He is on this great adventure and I am proud 

of him. My battered heart will heal.

~♥~

truth is...

I miss my son.

Everything is okay. My sailor is safe in Charleston,

settling into his home for the next 2 years.

I am glad boot camp is over.

But this letting go... it's not so easy.

On a positive note~ My son will be home

for Christmas. As much as I dislike the stores being 

so decked out so early, this year it reminds me that 

the holidays will bring a visit. ♥ 

I promise a more upbeat post in a day or two.

~♥~

so proud

Free digital scrapbook created with Smilebox

brave new world

Last week at this time we were in Great Lakes enjoying 

our son's brief liberty after his boot camp graduation. 

It seems like a year ago! 

The time flew. Those few hours over 2 short days were

not nearly enough. The good bye at O'Hare 

was brutal. Since my son's arrival at NNPTC 

communication has been pretty good... texts, phone calls,

FaceBook. But it is hard to realize that this 

is as good as it gets. I've been sad, but I am

determined to accept this new reality, and to

support and encourage my Sailor. 

It is a rough road, a lonely place for a mother's 

heart. But there is no option except to let go

and CHOOSE gratitude. 

Today I am grateful for family and friends,

for the supportive military community

and for the gift of this day. 

~♥~

bittersweet

A year ago my son was a high school senior

who was talking to a US Navy recruiter.

Today he is a a Sailor with three red stripes

on his sleeve, stationed at

Naval Nuclear Training Command

in Goose Creek, S.C. 

He begins classes later this month, 

the start of a long trek toward becoming

a Machinist Mate-Nuclear Field. 

PIR (boot camp graduation) was amazing.

Our short time with our son was an emotional

roller coaster. I don't like roller coasters.

I thought my first post after PIR would be 

a song of joy, a celebration of pride.

And I feel those things, I assure you,

but in all honesty, I am bereft.

Boot camp had a beginning and an end.

But this, ah this... this is our new reality.

Our son is a Sailor. He chose to serve

and he is gone and he is grown.

He is not in college or at a regular job. 

Nothing or no one comes before 

his commitment to the Navy.

I trust that this new reality will lose some of its

sharp barbs in time, that this ache will ease.

I am grateful for easier communication 

with my Sailor now, happy to know

he is safe and moving toward his goals.

I am trying to concentrate on these things

and thinking of Christmas, hoping 

he has leave.

~♥~

My son is a SAILOR!

At last! 

JOY!

HAPPY,HAPPY DAY! 

We leave for Chicago in the morning!

I am so proud of my sweet Sailor son! 

Millions of photos and details

to come. 

~♥~

the power of a smile

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.  

~Author Unknown

My sweet son is in his last days at RTC . He graduates  next week! 

His division's finals days will be filled with challenges~

final PFAs, inspections, drills, Captain's Cup

and Battle Stations. 

We received a short phone call on Monday~ a reward for a perfect

score on an inspection. My son sounded great, a bit weary, 

but upbeat and ready to wrap this thing up! 

On Tuesday, we got the best gift ever! 

Recruit Training Command's FaceBook page

 has two contests weekly. One of our division moms 

WON Tuesday's trivia game (no small feat, as there

 are MANY parents, spouses, etc playing). 

The prize~ A DIVISION PHOTO!!

So, with no further ado~ I  present 

Ship 7 USS CHICAGO Division 327

83 strong and lookin' good in their NWUs!!! 

 A photo from boot camp is a treasure!!! Winning the contest
is the only way to get a photo from boot camp.
It is just amazing to have this peek 

at the division! And best of all... look at those GRINS!!!!
They were told what the photo was for! They know their moms,
 dads, wives, girlfriends, etc will

see this photo. I love their beautiful smiles!
 LOVE THEM!

This photograph is a treasure. 

And where is my SR?
He is on the very top of the heap~ top upper right,

CLIMBING (oh, how he loves to climb) on something

and rocking the best smile ever!!

That's my boy! 

Note his collar device~ He is a Recruit Petty Office.

~Port Watch Section Leader~ 

That smile is a beautiful sight.

See you soon, son! 

~♥~

almost there...

It is rather surreal to think that in 2 weeks and 2 days 

we will be Great Lakes bound!

My son graduates from boot camp on 9/30/11~ the last group

to graduate in dress whites until next spring.

My son is in a push division which means his time 

in boot camp is 7 weeks, not the more standard 8 weeks.

So, we will see him soon! 

The past 5 weeks has, at times, seemed endless.

Our contact with our son has been minimal...

the form letter, the 'kid in a box", 3 real letters

and ONE and only ONE PHONE call (2 weeks ago).

That is not much, but it does get you through. 

I am also part of a FaceBook group for his division 

and that is a great resource. I have made some wonderful

new friends. The Navy community is pretty amazing!

By sharing info from our letters

and calls, we can piece together a pretty good glimpse 

of how things are going. All of the communication

from my son has been positive. 

He is a Recruit Petty Officer  ~Port Watch Section Leader.

He says that being in leadership is one

of the best things about his boot camp experience.

Many in the division have been ill, which is typical.

I assume it is a combination of bringing lots of people together 

from all over the country, mental and physical stress

and extreme fatigue that makes the recruits vulnerable

to the "Ricky Crud" and other contagious maladies. 

My son had the crud when he called AND pink eye 

AND 4 wisdom teeth had been pulled. This is my 

"never sick" kid... but he did not complain and I am assuming

he is well by now. Nowhere is the adage "no news

is good news" more applicable than boot camp.

Hopefully the entire division is better now.

The last few weeks are certainly hard, but at this point the divisions

should be working together and the training is more...

fun?? Is that the word? Well, more hands-on anyway.

They should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I see my own little light, too. In a short time

I will see my son~ briefly. He will depart for A School

in South Carolina the day after PIR. And then the real journey

begins. His schooling is long (2 years) and then out to the fleet

for 4 years and them some commitment to reserves... .

it just goes on and on. My son will not be home for most holidays.

He belongs to the U.S.Navy now... for real, and that 

is the hard part, the "my heart is bursting with pride" part,

the real letting go. 

I am learning my lessons and the first one

may be this~Make the best of the time you have. 

~not a bad approach to life in general, that "glass

half full" thing. I believe in that, try to live like that.

Gratitude is always the best choice.

For now, I am focused on our trip to RTC  in

a little over 2 weeks, to that moment when the new sailors 

enter the graduation hall...

For now that is enough.

~♥~

best day(s) ♥

How wonderful is is to have some communication from my son

in boot camp!!! We have now gotten TWO real 

letters and a glorious, long phone call!!!!

My son is doing very well and has the honor

of holding a Recruit Petty Officer position! 

He is the Port Watch Section Leader. 

He sounds great in his letters and on the phone.

In spite of having a cold (known as the Ricky Crud),

pink-eye and having all 4 wisdom teeth pulled,

he is upbeat and determined! 

He had his birthday in boot camp and spent

his first hours of being 19 standing watch and toting

a 9mm pistol. He is making friends

and says his RDCs are "smart, good people"

beneath "the show they put on". 

I am so grateful for his positive attitude! 

Our trip is booked now and in 4 weeks 

we will be at our son's PIR.

That will be another 'best day".

~♥~

waiting game...

A week ago I got my son's form letter from boot camp. I was delighted to read the lines he wrote...

He's okay! Likes the food! Misses his girlfriend and dog 

and still has his sense of humor!! 

Best of all the first line~ "I'm doing good."

Oh, joy!!! My mother-heart was filled with gratitude! 

Now a week has passed... a long, quiet week. Today my SR started

week three of boot camp. Hopefully his division is working together. 

This is how they earn phone calls and the privilege to write 

and receive letters (of which he should have a lot waiting for him!). 

In the Navy, no news is good news. I know better than to expect 

any communication this soon. It will be at least 3 weeks... 

no sooner. 

So, I am in the doldrums... the still, quiet time of waiting. 

I am staying busy and thinking the best.

I hope and pray that my son's division is smart and strong.

I hope I hear his voice soon... or open my mailbox

to a sweet surprise. I hope my son has made some friends

and is learning and feels he has made the right decision.

Mostly I  hope that he knows he is loved and supported.

Press on, son. Press on. 

~♥~

the box...

When your child departs for Navy boot camp you understand
that communication will be extremely limited. The night of arrival
 there is a 30 second call to say "I'm here." 

The recruits basically read from a script for that call.
It is hurried and succinct, but the few words
 you hear are like gold. "I love you" never sounded sweeter.

Then follows the wait for the dreaded "kid in a box". 

My son arrived in Great Lakes this past Monday and "the Box"

arrived on our doorstep on Thursday. In my continuing effort

to "man up" and face this Navy thing square in the face,

I opened the box. Inside were the clothes and shoes my son

left home in, along with his boarding pass and a few other 

papers. That cardboard box really makes this Navy thing real.

My son is there, in Great Lakes, wearing Navy issued clothes

and shoes... he is gone! Cue the violins,,, but wait! What's that?

There on the box flap is a message... a few words that lit my face

with a grin that has accompanied me for 2 days! 

"This is already too easy! Love y'all!" 

After 5 days does he still think that? ;) Did he write it to

soothe his mom's troubled heart? All I know is that

it made me remember that this is his dream, his life

and I would be a fool to be sad. 

Yes, I miss him... so very much! 

But I am glad for him. And so proud of his choice to serve.

I am so grateful for the gift of those scrawled words.

~♥~

signed, sealed and delivered...

No, I was not as sad as I look in this photo, I promise!!

Yesterday was the big day. My son did his final swearing-in

and boarded the plane to Great Lakes. 

He was able to text me and even called from the airport.

And then at 12:32 I got "the 3 second" call.

He sounded strong, wide-awake (I'll bet!) 

and the teeniest bit nervous. I said a few encouraging words

and told him we love him and that was that.

Mostly I am relieved that he is there safe and sound.

I know he can handle boot camp. 

Yes, I miss him terribly, but I am refusing to give over

to sorrow when there is so much to be grateful for! 

This is what he wants to do! Qualifying for Nuke School

is an accomplishment in itself. I am so happy for him 

and I have confidence in the US Navy. 

This is what they do~ they take boys and girls

and make them men and women and United States Sailors.

It is an honor and privilege to serve.

Today begins the wait for "the box" containing

his clothes, the form letter where we can write him

and the next call (in 3 weeks hopefully) and the first letter.

If he can do boot camp, I can do Navy mom!

Having the support of  loving family and friends,

the amazing US Navy family and a strong faith

comforts me and reminds me to focus on the good.

So~ I give the Navy my precious son with confidence

and gratitude and a fervent prayer that these 

8 weeks go swiftly and without complications. 

HOOYAH! Go Navy! 

~♥~

3 days...

Look at  that smile! That's my sailor-to-be at the helm

of a cruise ship way back in the day. 

Actually, wasn't that yesterday?

He leaves for his recruiter's office Sunday afternoon

then on to Great Lakes for boot camp.

He is 18.

I tell you, there is no way  to explain this letting go.

The military is not like college. It is grown-up stuff

 and there is little margin for error. 

I think of this sweet boy and how quickly

he must become a man and my 

mother-heart aches. 

But this is an opportunity for him to shine,

to meet the world head-on and 

get busy with the business of life.

I will let him go in a few days. I will fold my sorrow

like a secret and slip it deep in a pocket.

This is what a mother does

and strives to do so with grace. 

Godspeed son. 

I love you.

~♥~

up, up and away...

At this time next week my son will be at MEPS

doing his final swearing-in. We will send him off

with love, prayers and encouragement! 

Today I am mostly excited, ready for his

great adventure to begin! 

I keep thinking about how important it is 

to have the right attitude. I want my son to go

forth with confidence and determination. 

I can ask no less of myself! I want to focus

on the positive and radiate peace as I support

my son and learn to navigate my new life

with a less full nest. It's all good.

~♥~

tick tock~tick tock

So, now we are down to 11 days until our son ships out... 

which is actually 10 days because he has to be at the recruiting

office at 3:00 the day before, then on to a hotel for the night.

We can take him out for dinner that night as long as we stay 

very close by (preferably in the hotel) and have him in 

his room by 10:00pm.We will go to MEPS  the next

day to see him do the final swearing-in 

(the "no turning back, you're in the Navy now" one) 

and  then say good-bye. Some parents go to the airport and

 hang out, but unless our son requests this, I think I'll pass. 

I can only take so many farewells.

Things seem surreal. It is hard for me to imagine him gone,

despite the 10 months we have known this date.

I am very excited, proud and grateful for this opportunity

for my son, but it is bittersweet. 

I don't even know what to do these last days.

He seems quiet and a bit withdrawn. I know this 

is not unusual and is part of the separation process.

I have the business of organizing an "Anchors Aweigh"

 party to distract me. Then come the good-byes 

and the long wait for communication from boot camp.

What a ride this has been...

and it has barely begun! 

19 days and counting...

I'm not sure how we got here, but my son leaves

 for boot camp in 19 days.

It seems like yesterday that we were counting months

and now it is just over 2 weeks! .

I am staying busy, trying not to obsess, but it is tough-

and he's still here! 

My son is getting ready. Yesterday he went through

a lot of stuff in his room. He cleaned up his desk top

computer since he now has an amazing lap top

to take to Charleston. The ball is rolling

and gathering speed. His new life is so close.

I am so excited for him, but scared, too.

How will he feel in Great Lakes,

 so far from home,

among strangers and under duress?

 I have confidence in him, but still, a mother

 does not like to know 

that her child will be in distress, tired and homesick.

I KNOW he will do fine. I understand the method.

These young people have to be able to withstand pressure

and still perform their tasks. 

So, it is nearly time for my son to say good bye

and face his future.
19 days.

~♥~

28 days...

I live a blessed life. I have a a husband who is actually Superman

 (shhh! that's top secret), four children that amaze me every day, 

wonderful friends, a pretty home and the privilege

of time and space to pursue my artistic dreams. 

My heart sings a constant hymn of gratitude.

My oldest son is married to a sweet, lovely gal that we adore.

 He works for Frito-Lay and loves his job. They live close by

 which makes me so happy. My only daughter is a college student

 and a very talented artist. She is finding her way at her 

own pace (translation~ taking forever to get through school). 

She is a sweet, sweet young lady with a heart of gold.

My future sailor is an interesting kid~ very hard working, 

smart, driven. He knows everything, as do all 18 year olds.

 Beneath his bravado he has a tender heart and loves to help people.

And my "baby" is going into 9th grade. He is also very talented in art. 

He is very kind and brave.

I love them all beyond measure.

And in 28 days I will say goodbye to one of them. 

And it is goodbye~ goodbye to his childhood.

Unlike the more gradual transition to adulthood that most
 young people make,  the military life is a crash course
 in growing up. I know when my son leaves

 on August 8th, no matter what, he will be changed
when I see him again. I am excited for him
and proud of his choice. But part of me will mourn the loss
of his childhood, of his carefree life. 

I see it already~
 the realization of the seriousness of this endeavor. 

Next month at this time he will be in Great Lakes
being challenged  and molded into a Sailor in the world's greatest navy.
If he can do that, then I can do my part.
I can choose to dwell in gratitude

 for this opportunity, for all my sweet children, for this life that 

blossoms like the most tender rose. 

reality check

Early last November there was excitement at my house.

Our middle son, a high school senior, had gotten an impressive

ASVAB  score, one that opened the door to a world

of opportunity for a very bright kid who is a bit of a, shall we say,

non-conformist. This boy loves to work, loves to DO things, figure

out things, fix things. He is impatient with extraneous stuff-

like elective classes. He wants to learn useful things, that pertain

to the job at hand. Nuke school sounds like the place for him.

So last fall, through the winter, even this spring~ his ship date 

of 8/8 seemed distant. It was easy to be excited

and happy about his choice to sign a 6 year contract

with the US Navy. And now, at less that 2 months

until his departure, I am still excited and happy, but ~

 BUT~ reality is whispering in my ear.

I am thinking of how everyday life will be without 

this sweet, funny boy close by. He is my most

attentive child, the one (of 4) that looks out for me. 

He's a mama's boy~ not in a wimpy way, but in 

a sweet, loving way. I always thought he'd marry a sweet gal

and live around the corner. I thought they'd eat dinner with 

us a few times a week and he'd still carry heavy things

for me and kiss me on top of the head when he left.

But, this boy will sail the seven seas. He will learn

and grow and become a fine man and a sailor.

And it begins soon. 

It is what he needs to do and I am excited and happy.

I am. I am. I am.

That's my job. 

~♥~