Thursday, August 8, 2013

two years

"Time is the longest distance between two places."
  ~Tennessee Williams

Two years ago today our son raised his right hand 
for his final swearing-in, boarded a bus, boarded a plane 
and made his way to Great Lakes, Illinois.
 When we saw him, 2 months later at Navy boot-camp
graduation, he was a sailor.  
  Today he is a 3rd class Petty Officer. 
He has spent most of the past two years in one of the most
 challenging academic programs in the US military. 
In May he completed his studies and is a 
Nuclear Machinist Mate. 
He is stationed in San Diego and serves on
the USS Carl Vinson~ a nuclear powered aircraft carrier.

 I think of that bright summer morning in Dallas two years ago. 
I think of that boy who clutched his first set orders
and boarded that bus to his future.

I can tell you this, from a mother's heart, 
it was a beautiful, proud, terrible day. 
It was the first good-bye, the first knowing 
of this new life~ this unique letting-go~ 
this giving-over ~ this first step
on this new, uncharted path.

Some will tell you it gets easier,
 but that is not the word I would use.

I shattered my kneecap some years ago.
It actually hurts constantly. Mostly I ignore it. 
I am accustomed to it. I distract myself. 
Sometimes I take something to quell the pain.
But it is there always, a dull ache usually, 
but some days it is sharp flame.

And this is the way I miss my son. 
It is not easier, but I am used to it.
I stay busy and grateful~ 
always I find comfort and joy in being grateful. 
Time passes. Life goes on. 
Two years passes in a heartbeat.
"Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new... 
but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, 
its mystery and its design?"