brave new world

Last week at this time we were in Great Lakes enjoying 

our son's brief liberty after his boot camp graduation. 

It seems like a year ago! 

The time flew. Those few hours over 2 short days were

not nearly enough. The good bye at O'Hare 

was brutal. Since my son's arrival at NNPTC 

communication has been pretty good... texts, phone calls,

FaceBook. But it is hard to realize that this 

is as good as it gets. I've been sad, but I am

determined to accept this new reality, and to

support and encourage my Sailor. 

It is a rough road, a lonely place for a mother's 

heart. But there is no option except to let go

and CHOOSE gratitude. 

Today I am grateful for family and friends,

for the supportive military community

and for the gift of this day. 

~♥~

bittersweet

A year ago my son was a high school senior

who was talking to a US Navy recruiter.

Today he is a a Sailor with three red stripes

on his sleeve, stationed at

Naval Nuclear Training Command

in Goose Creek, S.C. 

He begins classes later this month, 

the start of a long trek toward becoming

a Machinist Mate-Nuclear Field. 

PIR (boot camp graduation) was amazing.

Our short time with our son was an emotional

roller coaster. I don't like roller coasters.

I thought my first post after PIR would be 

a song of joy, a celebration of pride.

And I feel those things, I assure you,

but in all honesty, I am bereft.

Boot camp had a beginning and an end.

But this, ah this... this is our new reality.

Our son is a Sailor. He chose to serve

and he is gone and he is grown.

He is not in college or at a regular job. 

Nothing or no one comes before 

his commitment to the Navy.

I trust that this new reality will lose some of its

sharp barbs in time, that this ache will ease.

I am grateful for easier communication 

with my Sailor now, happy to know

he is safe and moving toward his goals.

I am trying to concentrate on these things

and thinking of Christmas, hoping 

he has leave.

~♥~

signed, sealed and delivered...

No, I was not as sad as I look in this photo, I promise!!

Yesterday was the big day. My son did his final swearing-in

and boarded the plane to Great Lakes. 

He was able to text me and even called from the airport.

And then at 12:32 I got "the 3 second" call.

He sounded strong, wide-awake (I'll bet!) 

and the teeniest bit nervous. I said a few encouraging words

and told him we love him and that was that.

Mostly I am relieved that he is there safe and sound.

I know he can handle boot camp. 

Yes, I miss him terribly, but I am refusing to give over

to sorrow when there is so much to be grateful for! 

This is what he wants to do! Qualifying for Nuke School

is an accomplishment in itself. I am so happy for him 

and I have confidence in the US Navy. 

This is what they do~ they take boys and girls

and make them men and women and United States Sailors.

It is an honor and privilege to serve.

Today begins the wait for "the box" containing

his clothes, the form letter where we can write him

and the next call (in 3 weeks hopefully) and the first letter.

If he can do boot camp, I can do Navy mom!

Having the support of  loving family and friends,

the amazing US Navy family and a strong faith

comforts me and reminds me to focus on the good.

So~ I give the Navy my precious son with confidence

and gratitude and a fervent prayer that these 

8 weeks go swiftly and without complications. 

HOOYAH! Go Navy! 

~♥~

up, up and away...

At this time next week my son will be at MEPS

doing his final swearing-in. We will send him off

with love, prayers and encouragement! 

Today I am mostly excited, ready for his

great adventure to begin! 

I keep thinking about how important it is 

to have the right attitude. I want my son to go

forth with confidence and determination. 

I can ask no less of myself! I want to focus

on the positive and radiate peace as I support

my son and learn to navigate my new life

with a less full nest. It's all good.

~♥~

tick tock~tick tock

So, now we are down to 11 days until our son ships out... 

which is actually 10 days because he has to be at the recruiting

office at 3:00 the day before, then on to a hotel for the night.

We can take him out for dinner that night as long as we stay 

very close by (preferably in the hotel) and have him in 

his room by 10:00pm.We will go to MEPS  the next

day to see him do the final swearing-in 

(the "no turning back, you're in the Navy now" one) 

and  then say good-bye. Some parents go to the airport and

 hang out, but unless our son requests this, I think I'll pass. 

I can only take so many farewells.

Things seem surreal. It is hard for me to imagine him gone,

despite the 10 months we have known this date.

I am very excited, proud and grateful for this opportunity

for my son, but it is bittersweet. 

I don't even know what to do these last days.

He seems quiet and a bit withdrawn. I know this 

is not unusual and is part of the separation process.

I have the business of organizing an "Anchors Aweigh"

 party to distract me. Then come the good-byes 

and the long wait for communication from boot camp.

What a ride this has been...

and it has barely begun! 

the gift of "lasts"...

We moms are big fans of "firsts"~ first smile, first word, first steps and on and on to first dance, first car.
"Lasts" are more illusive, perhaps because we don't want to think of them and how they mark the passage of time so distinctly.
 Do you recall the last time your child crawled up to your lap for a cuddle and a story?
How about the last time you felt a small hand slip into yours? When was the last time your child watched "Arthur" or colored a picture for you?
 No, we are not as fond of "lasts". They are bittersweet at best.

But in these months before my son leaves for Navy boot camp I have noticed that I am regarding "lasts" at bit differently. Yes, they are still bittersweet, perhaps even more-so, because they seem to be so clearly marking the end of my son's childhood. Still, there is something of a blessing in this knowledge.

At Christmas I took more time to watch my 4 children together. My oldest is married, but acts like a 2 year old when he and his wife are here. It was fun to see my "boys" (14, 18 & 25) romp around like puppies. I loved hearing the sounds of the boys and my daughter and daughter-in-law laughing, playing X-Box and enjoying each other's company. I noted to myself, "This might be the last Christmas we will all be together for a while."

Every day there are more "lasts" to cherish. There will be a day that will be last that I nag my future sailor about his homework, his clothes on the floor or his bedtime on school nights. There will be the last kiss on the head and the "Nite, mom. Love you." from this sweet boy who towers over me.

So, I savor them, these poignant "lasts". I hide them in my heart and smile. They are a gift, a reminder that what we have is this moment.  I strive to live in the now, to appreciate my children, my husband, my friends, my life. Nothing lasts forever... not even these precious "lasts". ~♥~