brave new world

Last week at this time we were in Great Lakes enjoying 

our son's brief liberty after his boot camp graduation. 

It seems like a year ago! 

The time flew. Those few hours over 2 short days were

not nearly enough. The good bye at O'Hare 

was brutal. Since my son's arrival at NNPTC 

communication has been pretty good... texts, phone calls,

FaceBook. But it is hard to realize that this 

is as good as it gets. I've been sad, but I am

determined to accept this new reality, and to

support and encourage my Sailor. 

It is a rough road, a lonely place for a mother's 

heart. But there is no option except to let go

and CHOOSE gratitude. 

Today I am grateful for family and friends,

for the supportive military community

and for the gift of this day. 

~♥~

bittersweet

A year ago my son was a high school senior

who was talking to a US Navy recruiter.

Today he is a a Sailor with three red stripes

on his sleeve, stationed at

Naval Nuclear Training Command

in Goose Creek, S.C. 

He begins classes later this month, 

the start of a long trek toward becoming

a Machinist Mate-Nuclear Field. 

PIR (boot camp graduation) was amazing.

Our short time with our son was an emotional

roller coaster. I don't like roller coasters.

I thought my first post after PIR would be 

a song of joy, a celebration of pride.

And I feel those things, I assure you,

but in all honesty, I am bereft.

Boot camp had a beginning and an end.

But this, ah this... this is our new reality.

Our son is a Sailor. He chose to serve

and he is gone and he is grown.

He is not in college or at a regular job. 

Nothing or no one comes before 

his commitment to the Navy.

I trust that this new reality will lose some of its

sharp barbs in time, that this ache will ease.

I am grateful for easier communication 

with my Sailor now, happy to know

he is safe and moving toward his goals.

I am trying to concentrate on these things

and thinking of Christmas, hoping 

he has leave.

~♥~

My son is a SAILOR!

At last! 

JOY!

HAPPY,HAPPY DAY! 

We leave for Chicago in the morning!

I am so proud of my sweet Sailor son! 

Millions of photos and details

to come. 

~♥~

signed, sealed and delivered...

No, I was not as sad as I look in this photo, I promise!!

Yesterday was the big day. My son did his final swearing-in

and boarded the plane to Great Lakes. 

He was able to text me and even called from the airport.

And then at 12:32 I got "the 3 second" call.

He sounded strong, wide-awake (I'll bet!) 

and the teeniest bit nervous. I said a few encouraging words

and told him we love him and that was that.

Mostly I am relieved that he is there safe and sound.

I know he can handle boot camp. 

Yes, I miss him terribly, but I am refusing to give over

to sorrow when there is so much to be grateful for! 

This is what he wants to do! Qualifying for Nuke School

is an accomplishment in itself. I am so happy for him 

and I have confidence in the US Navy. 

This is what they do~ they take boys and girls

and make them men and women and United States Sailors.

It is an honor and privilege to serve.

Today begins the wait for "the box" containing

his clothes, the form letter where we can write him

and the next call (in 3 weeks hopefully) and the first letter.

If he can do boot camp, I can do Navy mom!

Having the support of  loving family and friends,

the amazing US Navy family and a strong faith

comforts me and reminds me to focus on the good.

So~ I give the Navy my precious son with confidence

and gratitude and a fervent prayer that these 

8 weeks go swiftly and without complications. 

HOOYAH! Go Navy! 

~♥~

3 days...

Look at  that smile! That's my sailor-to-be at the helm

of a cruise ship way back in the day. 

Actually, wasn't that yesterday?

He leaves for his recruiter's office Sunday afternoon

then on to Great Lakes for boot camp.

He is 18.

I tell you, there is no way  to explain this letting go.

The military is not like college. It is grown-up stuff

 and there is little margin for error. 

I think of this sweet boy and how quickly

he must become a man and my 

mother-heart aches. 

But this is an opportunity for him to shine,

to meet the world head-on and 

get busy with the business of life.

I will let him go in a few days. I will fold my sorrow

like a secret and slip it deep in a pocket.

This is what a mother does

and strives to do so with grace. 

Godspeed son. 

I love you.

~♥~

up, up and away...

At this time next week my son will be at MEPS

doing his final swearing-in. We will send him off

with love, prayers and encouragement! 

Today I am mostly excited, ready for his

great adventure to begin! 

I keep thinking about how important it is 

to have the right attitude. I want my son to go

forth with confidence and determination. 

I can ask no less of myself! I want to focus

on the positive and radiate peace as I support

my son and learn to navigate my new life

with a less full nest. It's all good.

~♥~

tick tock~tick tock

So, now we are down to 11 days until our son ships out... 

which is actually 10 days because he has to be at the recruiting

office at 3:00 the day before, then on to a hotel for the night.

We can take him out for dinner that night as long as we stay 

very close by (preferably in the hotel) and have him in 

his room by 10:00pm.We will go to MEPS  the next

day to see him do the final swearing-in 

(the "no turning back, you're in the Navy now" one) 

and  then say good-bye. Some parents go to the airport and

 hang out, but unless our son requests this, I think I'll pass. 

I can only take so many farewells.

Things seem surreal. It is hard for me to imagine him gone,

despite the 10 months we have known this date.

I am very excited, proud and grateful for this opportunity

for my son, but it is bittersweet. 

I don't even know what to do these last days.

He seems quiet and a bit withdrawn. I know this 

is not unusual and is part of the separation process.

I have the business of organizing an "Anchors Aweigh"

 party to distract me. Then come the good-byes 

and the long wait for communication from boot camp.

What a ride this has been...

and it has barely begun! 

19 days and counting...

I'm not sure how we got here, but my son leaves

 for boot camp in 19 days.

It seems like yesterday that we were counting months

and now it is just over 2 weeks! .

I am staying busy, trying not to obsess, but it is tough-

and he's still here! 

My son is getting ready. Yesterday he went through

a lot of stuff in his room. He cleaned up his desk top

computer since he now has an amazing lap top

to take to Charleston. The ball is rolling

and gathering speed. His new life is so close.

I am so excited for him, but scared, too.

How will he feel in Great Lakes,

 so far from home,

among strangers and under duress?

 I have confidence in him, but still, a mother

 does not like to know 

that her child will be in distress, tired and homesick.

I KNOW he will do fine. I understand the method.

These young people have to be able to withstand pressure

and still perform their tasks. 

So, it is nearly time for my son to say good bye

and face his future.
19 days.

~♥~

28 days...

I live a blessed life. I have a a husband who is actually Superman

 (shhh! that's top secret), four children that amaze me every day, 

wonderful friends, a pretty home and the privilege

of time and space to pursue my artistic dreams. 

My heart sings a constant hymn of gratitude.

My oldest son is married to a sweet, lovely gal that we adore.

 He works for Frito-Lay and loves his job. They live close by

 which makes me so happy. My only daughter is a college student

 and a very talented artist. She is finding her way at her 

own pace (translation~ taking forever to get through school). 

She is a sweet, sweet young lady with a heart of gold.

My future sailor is an interesting kid~ very hard working, 

smart, driven. He knows everything, as do all 18 year olds.

 Beneath his bravado he has a tender heart and loves to help people.

And my "baby" is going into 9th grade. He is also very talented in art. 

He is very kind and brave.

I love them all beyond measure.

And in 28 days I will say goodbye to one of them. 

And it is goodbye~ goodbye to his childhood.

Unlike the more gradual transition to adulthood that most
 young people make,  the military life is a crash course
 in growing up. I know when my son leaves

 on August 8th, no matter what, he will be changed
when I see him again. I am excited for him
and proud of his choice. But part of me will mourn the loss
of his childhood, of his carefree life. 

I see it already~
 the realization of the seriousness of this endeavor. 

Next month at this time he will be in Great Lakes
being challenged  and molded into a Sailor in the world's greatest navy.
If he can do that, then I can do my part.
I can choose to dwell in gratitude

 for this opportunity, for all my sweet children, for this life that 

blossoms like the most tender rose. 

reality check

Early last November there was excitement at my house.

Our middle son, a high school senior, had gotten an impressive

ASVAB  score, one that opened the door to a world

of opportunity for a very bright kid who is a bit of a, shall we say,

non-conformist. This boy loves to work, loves to DO things, figure

out things, fix things. He is impatient with extraneous stuff-

like elective classes. He wants to learn useful things, that pertain

to the job at hand. Nuke school sounds like the place for him.

So last fall, through the winter, even this spring~ his ship date 

of 8/8 seemed distant. It was easy to be excited

and happy about his choice to sign a 6 year contract

with the US Navy. And now, at less that 2 months

until his departure, I am still excited and happy, but ~

 BUT~ reality is whispering in my ear.

I am thinking of how everyday life will be without 

this sweet, funny boy close by. He is my most

attentive child, the one (of 4) that looks out for me. 

He's a mama's boy~ not in a wimpy way, but in 

a sweet, loving way. I always thought he'd marry a sweet gal

and live around the corner. I thought they'd eat dinner with 

us a few times a week and he'd still carry heavy things

for me and kiss me on top of the head when he left.

But, this boy will sail the seven seas. He will learn

and grow and become a fine man and a sailor.

And it begins soon. 

It is what he needs to do and I am excited and happy.

I am. I am. I am.

That's my job. 

~♥~

endings

My son went off cheerfully to his last day of high school last week.

I think he felt only happiness and an eagerness to move forward 

and leave his public school days behind.

Me? Not so much. 

My feelings were mixed. Another one of my "babies" finishing high school

is a great, but bittersweet feeling. Three down, one to go.

Where did the time go? 

Ah, well, it flies. Days, months, years~ all gone like fallen

snow when the sun comes beaming out. But it is a good thing, the way

of the world. We cannot stop time, but memories are a sweet

balm to the aching heart. I am happy, mostly. 

My son said, "Mom, why do people make such a big deal about high school graduation?

Everybody graduates!"... I told him it was a milestone, 

a distinctive marker in a young person's life, the end of an era~

but what does an 18 year old grasp about milestones? 

He is looking toward his bright, exciting future.

My son's recruiter was at graduation and even though

it is still two months until boot camp, this sure did feel 

like I was handing him over to the capable hands

of the U.S. Navy. 

So now I count the double digit days...

We need to get a power of attorney, go though my son's room...

Graduation was an ending, but also a beginning~

a new life awaits my son... and me. 

Ready or not.

~♥~